I’ve been cogitating on this topic for a while.
That’s not usual for me when it comes to writing. Usually I think it then I write it – lickity split. But this topic seemed to need more care.
So I paused… And sought insight from a variety of people.
Then paused some more… The topic is a bit too delicate to rush.
I didn’t want to say anything wrongly.
I want people to hear what I’m saying and not check out.
So I paused…
…And now I write.
Skin-tight just doesn’t seem right.
The thought came to me a bit ago while running on the treadmill at the gym. Everywhere I looked there was a woman clad in skin-tight attire.
My optical options were limited.
Option A: Get an eye full of womanly anatomy.
Option B: Keep my eyes shut.
Now here comes the delicate part. I’ve heard folks rage against such things before. They have always seemed angry, condescending, and inflammatory. I’ve heard speakers rant against “Jezebel.” I’ve read speakers devilishly deride “Delilah.” (FYI – they are two women of ill repute mentioned in the Bible.)
So before I go any further I want to distance myself in this discussion from such ranters and raggers.
I want to distance myself from them.
And I want you to know it.
First let me say to all women I am sorry. I am sorry for the stupidity of men who have perpetuated the lie that a woman is only as valuable as her shape. That is stupid, wrong, and damaging. I am sorry for the fact that men perpetuate the porn industry. I am sorry that men leer. I am sorry that men joke coarsely about females. I’m sorry for all the dishonoring-to-women-talk I’ve ever heard in the countless locker rooms I have found myself in. I’m sorry how high school boys talk of their “conquests” (most of them imaginary). I’m sorry older fellas behave like dirty old men.
Women I am sorry how the male species has let you down time and time again.
Secondly I want to give you a quick look into the mind of some of us men who do not want to see skin-tight everywhere we look. Whereas the female form is beautiful and enticing to look at, some of us (for a variety of reasons) would rather reserve our eyes for our wife’s form only. It feels dishonoring to my wife to have multiple eye fulls of other women in couldn’t-be-tighter clothing.
Some of us come from a faith that says things like; “I made a vow to not look at a woman lustfully” and “If you even look at a woman lustfully you have already committed adultery in your heart.”
Abstinence of the eye is a faith issue for many of us.
Certainly the onus of responsibility for this falls on us. Yet skin-tight everywhere makes the task much more difficult.
Having distanced myself from the ranters and raggers, I want to lay out three reasons why skin-tight doesn’t seem right:
- It seems to be a subtle cat-fight between women. There seems to be an indirect competition to see whose form “wins.” Not good for a variety of reasons. Here’s two. It perpetuates the nonsense that a woman’s shape is where she finds worth and it hinders healthy female to female relationships
- If you as a woman feel affirmed by the lingering looks of a man know this; the man who is leering at you isn’t only leering at you. He is most likely leering at all the ladies. In his brokenness he relegates women to the level of inanimate object like a sports car that is impersonally oogled as if it could be used simply for his pleasure and his pleasure alone. And then discarded.
- As mentioned above, skin-tight makes abstinence of the eyes difficult for those of us who strive for such a thing.
Having said all that, I want to ask something from my female readers.
Of course you are free to say no.
I want to ask all women reading this to explore modesty like you have never explored it before.
Research the topic. Have discussions. Seek greater understanding. If you are a person of biblical faith see what the Bible has to say about the subject.
And then, after having mulled over the matter, act upon what you have discovered.